Dirty Laundry- Kelly Rowland (What no one wants to admit)

              If there was ever a tell-all song that people have been itching to hear it would be from the oh so secret, extremely confidential, gossip proof life of the Carter-Knowles family. Destiny’s Child members Kelly Rowland and Michele Williams have spent years developing this sexy squeaky clean image in the shadows of the superstar that is Beyonce Knowles. Somehow they have also managed to convince the world that everything is all compliments and kisses in the huge, growing shadow of King Bey.  But anybody with estrogen pumping through their veins can’t find it in them to believe for one second that one once of jealousy hasn’t formed in the 10 plus years of watching someone you consider your sister slay the stage. That reality along with other juicy secrets reared their ugly heads with the release of Kelly Rowland’s second single off her fourth struggle album titled Dirty Laundry.

                Now I along with the rest of the world viewed the hype that was circulating around the song with a raised eyebrow. “Damn, a Kelly Rowland tell all song?...Finally a member of Destiny’s Child turned their microphone up and admitting some hate toward King Bey?...hmm this might be something I gotta hear” But before lending my ear to the song, I found that the hype that was flooding my twitter feed quickly died after the next day. And it wasn’t until getting 30 seconds into the song that I realized why.  Other than the simplistic diary-like lyrics, and the steady blues-like piano rift, the song is pretty forgettable. And after being played in heavy rotation on local radio stations, I’ll even dare to say that the song is annoying. One has to give credit to Miss Rowland for her bravery  touching on daring subjects such as domestic violence  in a song that was apparently close to her heart, but the sympathy and love I feel for Kelly doesn’t drown out the strong feeling of boredom I feel seconds into the song.

                As much as Kelly’s sad singing voice attempts to move you tears, it dryly falls flat. The simplicity of the lyrics along with the lack of noticeable musical structure lacks emotion. Now, agreed everybody doesn’t think or feel in beautiful, rhythmic, poetic, word play like J Cole, and in some instances simple lyrics are best especially in R&B, but Dirty Laundry doesn’t require any type of thought process at all. I got a sort of “I’m sad. Wrote a song about it wanna hear it? Here it go.” type of feel from it, which somehow works better for Drake than it does for Kelly Rowland. The lyrics seem to just drag on with no real connection to the beat, leaving you to wonder what the hell she is whining about by the second verse. And what is more interesting than the song is how people love for the beautiful Kelly Rowland simply over powers the dryness of the song. It’s sort of like it’s this unspoken secret that this song sucks. It seems like people got so wrapped up in the content of the song that they didn’t recognize that the song is trash. It’s almost similar to the unspoken secret that Kelly Rowland has been shooting blanks musically since Dilemma with Nelly in 2002.

 Honestly, I feel like a good sit down on the couch with Oprah would have sold the album better than wasting air wave time with this song, because the song sounds like one drawn out interview.  I can’t help but feel that if Kelly just dropped the spoken word ,“oh woah is me” approach and actually SANG the damn song like we all know she can and gave it a more distinct chorus and verses, maybe it would move people to want to listen to the song a second time. But somehow as bad as this song is (along with the other sucky, ass sexed up songs she drowns us with), we still root for Kelly and anticipate a hit with every song she releases.  Why? Because she’s strikingly beautiful, she can actually sing and she is and always will be everybody’s second favorite member of Destiny’s Child. Sorry Michele

Magna Carta- Holy Grail Jay Z

*ps This picture is posted next to the REAL Magna Carta in Salisbury Cathedral in England…. Yes Jay Z’s album is on display next to the REAL Magna Carta from 1215. Why? Just because #newrules*

                 I believe the world stopped spinning for 2 minutes when the NBA Finals were interrupted by Jay Z’s presence on their television screens in late June. And it wasn’t just another useless endorsement to put another couple million in Mr.Carter’s pocket, it was to release the news,that with no single, no video and 2 weeks of media promotion, Jay Z was releasing his 11^th studio album. Now aside from the PR majors wet dream of a deal with Samsung that paid both Samsung and the Carter’s healthily and gave Jay Z platinum certification before the official release date, titling the quickly anticipated album Magna Carta- Holy Grail, skyrocketed expectations for the music it would possess. Fans were unfairly teased for two weeks with Samsung commercials that included snippets of beats and commentary from the great HOV himself. The internet buzzed when pictures of Jay Z in the studio with the who’s who of hip hop producers Swizz Beats, Timberland and Pharell Williams. Being named after the historical law changing English charter of 1215 and the news the RICA was changing the rules to support and accept  Samsung’s million album purchase, people anticipated this to indeed be the Magna Carta of all albums, and it is. As a faithful and frustrated iPhone user, I along with the rest of the world without a phone the size of a laptop had to fight the temptation of listentoyoutube.com for 5 long days after the Samsung Galaxy  III release for Mr. Carter to grace my ear drums and I was not disappointed when it finally did. It was finally good for an album to live up to its hype (*cough cough* Yeezus -_-).

                The dysfunctional masterpiece that is Magna Carta Holy Grail is full of base filled beats, dramatically placed sound clips, movie like lyrics and highlights the talents of Justin Timberlake and Frank Ocean better than they have their own solo projects. Not to mention the lyrics of the Bonnie and Clyde sequel titled Part II (On the Run) featuring  Beyonce paints a better picture than the video did in 2005. Unlike his million dollar counterpart Kanye West’s album, Hov is able to vocalize his frustrations with modern day  society with swagger and thought provoking word play without being overwhelming and making you want to jump of a damn bridge after 3 tracks. He manages to say a lot by saying a little over head nodding beats that up and coming producers get wet for. Tracks like Fuckwithmeyouknowyougotit ft Rick Ross , La Familia and Crown for example can’t even be absorbed  properly without being played in a slow moving car on a warm summer night with the windows down at midnight. Tom Ford  is easily the summers new drunken turn up song in the club and the musical contents of Jay Z Blue ; daddy’s love letter to Blue Ivy makes you want to dance and smack your daddy all at the same time.  Holy Grail ft Justin Timberlake is just a musical orgasm that can be a 5 minute 38 second album all on its own. I found it pleasantly hard to determine if it was a Timberlake song featuring the swagger drenched lyrics of Jay Z or a Jay Z song featuring the melting voice of Timeberlake. The abrupt melody changes and mixture of beats sounds like nothing short of a musical masterpiece and writes itself as a legendary collaboration.

“sippin from your cup til it runith over.. Holy Grail”

                Despite the album as a whole indeed being the Magna Carta of all hip hop albums, I found a blind ear can find it hard to differentiate one track from another. At least 5 of the tracks can be a one hour long track and no one would honestly be mad simply because Jay Z demolishes each beat. Not to mention the overwhelming feeling of disappointment when  Beach is Better abruptly cuts off after 50 damn seconds leaving the whole world left in mid turn-up, screaming WTF?!. But Jay Z got our ears so whipped we remember Hov doesn’t write down any lyrics and just justify the shortened tracks as Mr. Carter simply saying all he had to fucking say and he probably just ran out of wisdom to kick to us common folks.

“Cant take the money witcha, burn this shit up like im richer, niggas like is the oven on?…”

Bow! Point made. What’s understood don’t need to be explained….or finished. Overall the album lived up to the hype it generated even though it may not exactly live up to the reputation of Jay Z. HOV himself doesn’t even place his recent project in the top three albums of his career even though its one of the most successful as far as sales. Some critics felt that it was bland and “lacked emotion and direction” (Richards 2013;Washington Post), I personally feel its lack of direction makes it great. Its dysfunctional direction is something that has been attempted and yet to be properly executed. It doesn’t have a direct theme like Jay’s 2007 American Gangster, or J Cole’s Born Sinner. When a title, controversy or well-paid PR agents don’t tell us how to feel about an album, we find it hard to digest. The theme of Magna Carta Holy Grail is simply unfuckwithable beats, lyrical ability and to remind you that Jay Z is richer than you. Haters argue Jay has managed turned his fans in to brain washed customers. To that I say, I have no problem paying for Blue Ivy’s silver spoon as long as her parents keep feeding me with good music. Not summer ass bouncing, pussy popping anthems that I won’t remember by August ( *cough cough*Juicy J)or pop drowned tracks that are so annoyingly catchy that it brands into my unconscious mind forcing me to sing at any random time. (*cough cough* hi Nicki)  For music that makes me think and feel something without 4 shots of tequila I give up my $12.99 proudly and with no regrets. I am grateful Jay Z came off the throne to humor me with more music. Thank you Mr. Carter ,now please talk to your boy Kanye.

Bad (Rihmix) Wale ft Rihanna- Review

 

“You ain’t rushin for love and I ain’t out here to judge so lets neglect the what ifs and make it do what it does”

   

 Gracing the charts in early April, the vagina whispering poet Wale managed to speak to girls inner whore with his hit Bad. Somehow in a matter of weeks Tiara Thomas managed to have every girl laying in bed convinced they had commitment issues once hit with the question “ Is it bad that I never made love?“. And after listening to Wale address the whole fuck without feelings survival mentality, he had broken hearted church girls everywhere dreaming to be this unobtainable “Bad Girl”. The soulful hit had all the components of a classic and the makings of a summer anthem. Wale cemented the truth baring hit as the official bad girl anthem when he replaced Tiara Thomas with the millennium bad girl herself, Rihanna.

“because all the bad girls always Unapologetic”

                Even though the remix isn’t that much altered from the original and a blind ear can easily mistake Tiara Thomas’s voice with Rihanna in the original, this song is textbook example of how a song can take a life of its own when you integrate the knowledge of celebrities personal life. Rihanna haters can argue that she doesn’t really add anything to the song that Tiara Thomas didn’t put there, but she does. Her presence, that recognizable screech we’ve become immune too, her all too public love triangle, her rumored sex life with our favorite rappers, the sexual fantasies we don’t like to admit we have about her, the red hair, the tattoos, the weed, the titties we’ve seen all too often, all these things are what we automatically associate with the brand Rihanna before we acknowledge the music. Simply adding her voice and more importantly her presence is what puts the power behind the already thought provoking lyrics. This is something that the unknown Thomas just simply couldn’t do. For me the remix dramatically surpasses the original simply because of the connection I make between the lyrics and Rihanna.  Think about it, if we were to think about the one girl in the industry right now that “has some issues”( besides Nicki Minaj), and has a severe lack of fucks to give, it’s the Barbadian beauty of many weaves, Miss Fenty. The fact that I can easily picture a drunken, freshly fucked, red head Rih Rih  on the edge of Drake’s bed , texting “I miss you “ to Chris Brown with a blunt in one hand, pen in the other, furiously scribbling down “ I never made love.. but I sure know how to fuck…”, is what makes the remix bigger than the original track.( xcuse my vivid imagination. I agree it takes a creative one to picture Rihanna writing anything herself ,whomp whomp)

 Even though no one can find shade to throw at the unknown author of the track Tiara Thomas, Rihanna lovers can’t help but wonder why a song that can be easily assumed to be tailor made for the West Indian accent and vixen lifestyle of Miss Fenty wasn’t recorded with her vocals originally.   In the grimy music industry there is no telling what prevented Rihanna from recording the track or even what possessed Tiara Thomas to leave the wing of Wale for another label. And the fact that the original version of the song is almost obsolete from radio stations since the release of the remix paints a really messy picture  leaving someone pissed off and possibly unpaid. One with a decent ear for music cannot put anything past the voice and talent of Ms. Tiara and cant fault her for simply being unknown. One can even anticipate hearing her voice again , but on a track where the lyrics don’t blatantly outshine her status in the industry. And as we patiently await the video which is almost guaranteed to have an uncut version on Youtube (crosses fingers) we must acknowledge that sometimes the addition of an artist’s presence and reputation can make, break or transform a track despite the beat or lyrics. In this case Rih Rih’s bad girl image just added concrete to the foundation that Tiara Thomas initially laid.