If it’s one thing I love more than anything, its curling up
with snacks and watching an award show. Award shows are my all-time favorite
aspect of entertainment so if I don’t post anything on this blog , you can damn
sure bet to see an award show recap.
Last night the world gathered together with their twitter
apps and partook in viewing the music's world annual circus that is the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards. Not quite
as stuffy as the Grammy's, the VMA's celebrates the pop genre every year with
legendary performances, controversy and blatant avoidance of awarding black
musical accomplishments (when in doubt give the award to Taylor Swift -_-). And
this year's show set in Brooklyn did not disappoint. Here's 5 moments from the
show that I felt needed to be addressed.
1) Where the f**k
were the Carter's?!
By watching the
strategically "urbanized" promo commercials every 3 seconds, and
random clips of sidewalks, buses and subways during the presentations of
nominees, MTV made it clear that they wanted our panties to moisten about the
fact that the VMA's where going be held at the new Barclays Center in Brooklyn,
New York. Now, I’m not sure what that may have meant to anybody else, but I
took it as a subliminal promo for a legendary Jay Z performance (was it just
me?... No? ok). Brooklyn!? The recent Magna Carta release!? Justin
Timberlake!? The show had a more than ideal set up for the perfect Holy
Grail performance. But,no. All we got was Katy Perry acting out a scene
from Rocky up under the Brooklyn Bridge. -___- . Seemed like a terrible waste
of the perfect venue to me. The BeyHive couldn’t
even get a camera glimpse of a fierce Beyonce outfit this year. And after the
numerous camera pans of the audience, we had to come to the unbelievable conclusion
that the Carter's didn’t even grace the VMA's with their million dollar
presence this year. Granted both of them are currently on tour (Mrs. Carter World Tour and the Legends of the Summer), and even the
most spoiled BeyHive member can’t expect the Queen to bless us with a
performance every award show (I don’t see why not) but damn. MTV hyped the show
up as "so Brooklyn" but the only thing we got was a cheap concert layout,
and Lil Kim, whose face we can all agree needs the least amount of camera time
as possible. We couldn’t get a Brooklyn Nets player to show up. We couldn’t get
a Notorious B.I.G sound effect. Not to mention the borderline disrespect of not
even mentioning the late songstress Aaliyah, in her hometown on the 12th
anniversary of her death. Hell, I would have even tolerated 2 minutes of Diddy’s dancing all for the sake
of highlighting the musical contributions
from the city of Brooklyn. But then
again considering the racial background of MTV’s core audience, Brooklyn is just
that city next to Manhattan. Moral of
the story: Don’t televise anything musically related in Brooklyn without The
Carter's involved #newrules danmit
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| The Carters made time to make it to the after party though -_- |
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| Smh. This was Brooklyn enough for MTV. |
2) SMH ….Kanye
Ok. Kanye
is a musical genius. Based on his line of work, you HAVE to give him that
recognition. Whether you want to or not. But my problem is this; somewhere
between the Graduation (2007) album and Yeezus (2013) somebody told Kanye
he was a genius. I assume Kanye then
took this as, “I can do and say whatever the f**k I want, and people are going
to ride it off as me being a genius.” And to no fault of our own, we have gone
along with the voices in Kanye’s head. Hell, that’s the only way we can justify
Lady Gaga’s entire existence. But damnit there’s a line.
You can embarrass Taylor Swift on
national TV (I actually encourage this) . You can knock up the most photographed woman
in America and then beat up the paparazzi when they ask you about it. You can
be a cocky asshole. I can even force my Christian mind to ignore the blatant blasphemy
of referring to you as the Christ of Hip Hop. But when you think you’re so “musically
advanced “that you flail around like somebody’s drunk uncle, in front of a bordered
projector and expect that people are going to accept that as an acceptable performance. That’s
where it has to stop. I respect an artist’s evolution. Nobody wants to listen
to the same thing we were listening to in 2007 anyway. As a true artist you’re
supposed to change. But this stuff Kanye has been giving me lately is way over
my head and a tad bit annoying. If all of you twitter guru’s that claim that “no
one understands Kanye”, could explain him to me, it would be greatly
appreciated, because I been lost since 09.
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| This still shot is better than the whole performance |
PS: Does anybody else anticipate Kanye to pop up when Taylor Swift goes to accept and award? Smh. Where is Kanye when you need him.
3) Miley, time to
stop twerking
"Somewhere in America; Miley Cyrus is still twerkin."
Let’s ignore
the fact that in 2013, Miley Cyrus is getting recognition for a dance that prepubescent
black girls have been sweating their perms out doing for years. (Ladies: How
old were you when you first put your hands on your knees at a basement party?) And I’m not going to
lie, watching America’s sweet little Hannah
Montana snatch the blonde wig off and get straight ratchet with it next to
Juicy J was quite entertaining. Not quite as entertaining as watching America
try to convince us that bouncing your ass is some sort of new, nigger-conceived
epidemic. But, once again, there’s a line. And it was clearly crossed last
night.
Bending
over and bustin it open, in your bra and panties is an action strictly
restricted to the stripper pole and in your room while Back That Ass Up plays on
your IPod. And most black girls, have known this unwritten rule since 2001, but
leave it up to a Disney child star gone bad to take it to another level, and
take it to live television. The funny thing was that while everyone was
expecting this type of ratchetry to happen, viewers and audience members were
still shocked and slightly disgusted, when Miss Cyrus’ pancake flat ass cheeks
plastered themselves on our TV screens. Ladies were also kind of pissed
watching Miley plaster her flat cakes on the very married, Robin Thicke. (Where
was Paula at?!) Last night brought an abrupt
and long overdue end to twerking’s 15 minutes of fame, and may have ended Miley’s
as well. Moral of the story: Although Jay Z encouraged it, Miley,it’s
officially time to stop twerking. The summer is over. Time to stand up straight honey.
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| STAAHHPP IT!! |
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| please people do not be mistaken, a relatively plump ass is REQUIRED, to twerk properly |
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Not that Paula Patton should've been threatened in ANY WAY, but still isn't he married?
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| The Smith's watching Miley perform..LMFAO. Who else's face was like this? |
4) What the F**K is a Macklemore ?
Yes, Thrift Shop was a good song. Not good
as in, Grammy Award winning good, but like “Will the Real Slim Shaddy Please
Stand Up” good. And we kind of ignored it when and found it a little humorous it
appeared on the Hip Hop charts. But to consider whatever song it was Macklemore
won for, better than Drake, A$AP and Kendrick Lamar, is borderline disrespectful.
Not even borderline. It was disrespectful. Not “Lets riot in the street”
disrespectful, but still pretty wrong. Now, I’m trying NOT pulling the race
card. (I do my best not to) In my eyes, music and love are the only things in
this world that have no color. Good music is good music, and don't get me wrong, Macklemore’s flow
is pretty decent, but not decent enough to win anything over Drake. And after
the tidal wave that Kendrick just caused in the industry, he should be getting
all the Hip Hop genre awards for at least the next year. Well at least until
the Grammy’s. But then again, it is the VMA’s. smh
5) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NSYNC!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!
The world stopped spinning. I swear the world
stopped spinning.
Before being awarded the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, Justin Timberlake spent 10
minutes proving why he deserved that award and every other award he’s going to receive
in the future. Right as we were picking up our remotes to change the channel,
Justin Timberlake came out and did a magical medley of all of his hit songs,
which amazingly turned out to be every song he had ever put out as a solo
artist. JT’s unwavering singing voice,
along with his crisp dance moves gave you chills that were reminiscent of any Michael
Jackson performance. And just when everybody was on the edge of their seat, the
remaining four members of NSYNC arose from the bottom of the stage and released
everybody’s inner white girl. And
although a little chubby and a little winded, the boys commanded those British
punks in the audience, One Direction to sit back and take notes and reminded
everybody what a real boy band was. The performance is easily is going to be archived
as one of the best in VMA history, if not as one of the best we’ve seen in a
long time. Not to mention Justin was awarded the only award that was rightfully
deserved that night, Video of the Year
for his first single off his 20/20
Experience album Mirrors. If the performance didn’t do
anything, it definitely sold tickets for Justin’s 20/20 Experience Tour this
fall (PS:I will twerk for tickets to this concert, serous inquires comment contact info below). The only disappointing thing about this performance was that MTV tried to
carry on for another hour and a half with the show as if anyone else could
follow it up. Whatever MTV.
I got my Destiny’s
Child reunion, I got my NSYNC reunion, if someone could scrape up them gay boys
of B2K together, my life would be made.
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| YAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! *screams and faints* |
Tay’s Best Dressed: Rita Ora
This "So Tay" gown is by Alexandre Vauthier 2013 collection. Belted, crystalized sleeves, 20ft feather train= So Tay
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| *faints* |
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| "SLAY":(verb)when one looks more than perfect in a outfit or performance; as in SLAYING the red carpet; adj: SLAYADGE (word commonly used as a description for anything Rihanna wears) |
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Feathers? Sparkles? 20ft train? Such a beautiful catastrophe
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Worst Dressed: Miley Cyrus
Designer: Ratchet Hillbilly 2013
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| Man, where is her daddy?! |
My baby Drake adorned a custom, black ,leather (?) , bullet proof, Tom Ford, Givenchi , Versace Forever 21, V- Neck, wife
beater managed to give the most light skinned performance I ever witnessed.
Singing voice and all.
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| Drake's new album Nothing Was the Same is due in September |
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| lol Gotta love Drizzy |
Rihanna Watch!
Our baby RihRih decided to dress so casually either because she has
been living out of a suit case in New York for a week, or simply because she is
just fly like that. Yea let’s go with the second one.
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| Jeans and T-Shirt and she still bad smh |
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And a bad ass black dress for Drake to take off after the after party. Uh Huh ;)
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photo cred: Getty Images 2013 & Spanish News 2013
